Perched Somewhere Around Happy

 

I took this selfie earlier. I used a filter on it – the ‘crema’ one on Instagram – to try and make it look nicer. I wonder, did it work? Because I still see the bald spots. The ‘baby hairs’ that are just starting to grow back in. The side-smirk to hide those extra couple pounds I seem to be hanging on to.

This post is for all of the mama birds out there. We have made a human being. And we’re keeping it alive now! Yay us! And we are all sitting in various perches on the accepting/hating our postpartum bod spectrum. I’m perched around the middle area.

I don’t hate my body. I am in complete awe of everything it went through to get my baby here. But I’m not quite in the ‘stretch marks are tiger stripes and beautiful’ camp either.

I’m in between. I have pimples and flubby bits that jiggle. I have this hair loss thing that’s out of control yet when I forget to shave my legs they grow hairs just fine. I have killer biceps from picking up a 20lb angel everyday  but when I wave ‘bye bye’ my arm flab waves too. I have to be careful not to pee when I cough, sneeze, jog, or jump up and down. My bras don’t fit.
But when my baby climbs onto me, she’s got lots of places to grab on. I’ve become quick at catching her as she crawls away or falls down or tries to climb the stairs. And stealthy at wiping boogies before she turns her head. I can carry five million things at once and only sometimes drop them. I look at my body and I see something I want my kids to look at and see as NORMAL.

I want to look at myself less critically, I want to just see normal.

No matter how fit and fabulous you look in a bikini 5 seconds after giving birth or how you’re still wearing your ‘preggo sweats’ 10 months later…it’s normal. You’re normal.

You are amazing and beautiful and yes I see the crumbs and spit up and dirty house and bald spots. Normal. Stunning.

 
^ No filter. No bra. No makeup. Strategic hair-part ;)
Here’s to the mama birds who are perched beside me on the fence. Halfway. Confident & self-conscious and happy for now.

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